Happily Blended: How Shmuel Met Margelit

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Photo: Shmuel Diamond

Hint: we met on http://www.sawyouatsinai.com.

Here’s an article about us on Happily Blended.  It’s about how we met, and one very romantic thing Shmuel did for me recently.

❤

Shmuel writes a blog about how to be a good husband.  It’s called www.koshermarriage.com.  Check it out for more of his romantic ideas.

 

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Why We Don’t Have Internet Connection at Home Anymore

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Hi guys,

Check out the article I wrote for MavenMall.com, on how Facebook has taken over our lives, and why Shmuel and I decided to get rid of our internet connection at home.  Happy 20th, Internet.  You’re legal now, so it’s time to leave the nest.

We still have our iPhones & 3G for emergencies, but really.  There’s no such thing as an urgent email anymore.

Now I’m looking forward to spending more time with my husband and kids, getting more sleep, being less stressed – though it will take more planning to get everything done in the office.  Thank Gd for scheduled tweets (see my post on How to Save Time And Stay Social).  Technology is advanced enough that we don’t need to be on it 24-7.

I’m a bit of an internet addict/workaholic, and as any 12-stepper knows, you can’t trust yourself when your addiction is in the home.  No one who lives with an alcoholic uses mouthwash; that would be placing a stumbling block before the blind.

How will we do it?  Well, Shmuel has an office, and I’ll be working there as well as at Starbucks, or anywhere there’s wifi.  During office hours.  And occasionally I may have to hire a sitter to stay home if Shmuel’s filming out of town so that I can leave to teach a social media class via Skype to a client in Australia.

What I won’t be doing is slipping in an email while I’m hanging out with my kids, or squinting into the broad daylight of my computer screen at midnight so that I can’t fall asleep until 2AM.

Here we go.  I’ll keep you posted and let you know if there are any withdrawal symptoms.  🙂

While you’re here, check out the DaytoDisconnect video that Shmuel Hoffman made with Gi Orman, and also the Portlandia Technology Loop clip.

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THE POWER OF SAYING: YES MY WIFE

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1. Yes My Wife

The title of my blog is Yes-My-Wife.com. And I didn’t choose it by accident. I heard it first from a beloved Rabbi, Rabbi Harizi who I admire as a expert in marriage and relationship building. He says often: Yes my wife, yes my wife. The reason why this is one of the most important lessons I ever came across is that its so easy to disagree with your wife. Its hard to say yes.

2. Different Planets

You know, we come both from different planets, my wife and I. So, why would we ever agree on something? But as we know we want to live in harmony and disagreeing adds tremendously to disharmony in the home. Actually the sole reason for getting d…. (honk, no D word here, sorry) is a disagreement that the couple can’t solve anymore. They are stuck. So, the more we agree on each other the less likely we are getting … HONK. Sorry for the noise.

3. Join me in this experiment

I want you to join me in an experiment called “Yes My Wife” – week. Just this week,ok? Try it once and tell me if something changed in your relationship. Afterwards you can go back to your old way if you like. I want you to say “Yes my wife” whenever a request, a question comes from your wife. Get creative in how to maneuver around topics and issues that you actually disagree on. Over time it gets really easier. You’ll see if you stick to it.  One important rule not to violate, NEVER SAY NO during this week, ok? You will see a change that not even a marriage counselor can produce so quickly ;  )

Later, once we are done with this exercise I can show you how to say “Yes my wife” and still getting it your way.

S.

P.S. I just found out it makes more senses actually to limit yourself for 5 things that you are writing down per day. This helps to prevent to get ‘burned out’ and not knowing what else to write.




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HOW TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL TO A BEAUTIFUL MARRIAGE. YES, YOU READ RIGHT.

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I was thinking about this idea for a very long time. To make my research on this topic available on my blog. Yes, we have so far just posted about filmmaking and social media. But hey, isn’t it called: ShmuelHoffmansBlog.com? I figured since its the Hoffman blog so why not introducing a new category that I so deeply care about and I hope you will too ;  )

My Second Passion

I have to admit. I have a second passion besides being a steadicam operator and videographer. AND THAT IS MY MARRIAGE.

Why is this so special? Because for me marriage has been the hardest thing to succeed in. I’ll be honest, Margelit and I had many long years of a very unstable and often rollercoaster-type relationship.

I know, everybody kind of goes through this. But I think for us it is and was especially hard. We both come from divorced parents and households. We both have parents who have been divorced several times. That leaves us with so much baggage that can make it almost impossible to succeed in a marital relationship. How would we know what is right to do and what not???

My curious instinct told me that there must be a solution. A HOLY GRAIL TO SUCCEED. I didn’t want to give up and become one of the many +50%  d… couples ( this is the D – word that I’m not pronouncing).

The Journey Toward a Beautiful Marriage

It’s been a long journe so far, but I think I’m onto something: the secret to a beautiful and fulfilling relationship. But if it would be just for myself then this would be less exciting for me to share. I was looking for an answer and tools that can apply almost to everyone regardless of background, religion, status etc.

Knowing What to Do When You Don’t Know What to Do

I found so much stuff out there about marriage-improvement-self-help that its really drowning. What I found lacking was a hands-on, grassroots, simple approach to this topic with clear guidelines of what to do when we don’t know what to do. I know how this feels, because there have been numerous times when I was fighting with Margelit and I didn’t know how to respond.

I want to share with you what I’ve found works.  I’ll be writing here about my successes, what I found to be working, what not and how society teaches common knowledge that we either have to rewrite or reinvent.

Are you up for this journey with me to ‘Yes My Wife’?

S.

P.S. I want to tell you, Margelit that I’m so thankful for all what you have done for me. This blog could not have been possible with your help, encouragement and courage. Thank you for being on my site and having gone through with me all that time. I deeply love and care for you.

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